Bars, Boobs, and Boys
by QuotheIDani
Summary: A crazy bet between Sasuke and Naruto drag the two boy's into their greatest adventure yet. The mision? Girls!
1. Chapter 1

_Bars, Busts, and Boys_

By: _QuotheIDani_

* * *

How in the world had it wound up like this? Sasuke sat on the hard cot, glaring at his new 'roommate'. Naruto. An angry scowl was followed by an arrogent snort. If it hadn't been for him, he would be at _home_, in his _own_ bed. Not sitting on some flea-bitten bunk, being held captive in a cell. Against his will, he might add. The blonde was hanging upside down from his bed, eyes cut into a glare as well. 'Why should _he_ be upset?' the Uchiha wondered to himself,'It was _his_ stupid sceme in the first place' Groaning, he leaned back to rest his head against the mildewed wall, the night's previous 'adventure' comming back to him.

---

"Come on, Teme! Just grab it! She won't notice!" Naruto urged him on from the bushes, several feet away. A safe distance considering what he was about to do.

He waved at the blonde, motioning for him to be quiet. He didn't want to risk her turning around to catch him redhanded. Damnit. Why did _he_ have to be the one to steal from Sakura? Licking his lips, he closed his eyes and thrust his hand into an all too familiar pink bag. He blindly fished through the girl's belongings, comming upon several interesting, and just plain odd, feeling items.

'Brush, pen, ribbon, lost change...' Sasuke mentally gussed at what he was touching as he searched through a certain pink haired teammate's bag,'It's not in here! Naruto was wro--' A smirk crossed his lips, and he took hold of the article. He'd finally found it!

"Oi! Naruto!" he softly called to his partner in crime, throwing the 'prize' at him. The other boy caught the object and grinned before signaling Sasuke to come back to the safty of the bushes, where they could enjoy the spoils of their stolen good together.

Glancing around, to make sure he hadn't been seen, Sasuke sprinted after Naruto, both hiding in the safty of several bushes. "So?" the raven haired boy questioned,"What's this brilliant 'plan' of yours? And what does it have to do with me?" He hated to admit it, but he was courious. The fox had piqed his interest. He'd even talked him into robbing their teammate, and now the Uchiha wanted to know what was so important about this magazine he'd just 'borrowed'.

"Naruto?" the boy still hadn't answered, he was too imersed in whatever he was reading. Looking over his shoulder, Sasuke's dark eyes widened. _THAT _was what he had been tricked into swipping? "Uzumaki! You had me risk getting my ass kicked by Sakura, just so you could get her crapy girl magazine?!"

"Shhhh!" Naruto sat up, clasping a hand over the other boy's mouth. His eyes darted around wildly to see if anyone might have overheard what had just been said. His hand dropped moments later, after decideding it was safe again. "And it's not just some crapy girl magazine, Teme" He held a matter-of-factly tone,"It's the source of ultimate wisdom!" The blonde smiled a huge and sloppy grin. Sasuke frowned.

"Ultimate wisdom?" Sasuke questioned. From a girl's beauty zene? He didn't think so. "Yea!" Naruto's eyes sparkled,"With this magazine, we'll be able to get into a girl's mind!" The Uchiha's dark eyes met his friend's blue one's. Slowly he stood, sighing,"Dobe" and with that he walked off.

"No! Wait, Teme! Er--Sasuke!" the blonde whinned pathetically, even using the Uchiha's first name for once, instead of a degrading insult. "Come on! Don't go!" Sasuke could hear heavy footsteps behind him, Naruto was following. He let out a silent groan. He wanted nothing more to do with the fox, and he didn't even know his plan yet. But it really didn't matter. Whatever it was was bound to be stupid, embarassing, and, most likely, volger.

"Why shouldn't I go? I don't want to be around when you return Sakura's magazine" The footsteps behind him stopped and a silence entered the atmosphere. Sasuke turned around, the sight behind him making him smirk. Naruto stood still, for once, lips drawn into a pouting pose and eyes wide with fright. "Do I have to?" he finally squeaked softly,"_I_ have to give it back?" This made his smirk deepen and Sasuke turned back around, continueing to walk on,"Of course. I took it so you have to return it"

"B-but!" his stuttering was futile. Naruto was going to have to give the magazine back to Sakura...and take a few of her punches, and recieve harsh verbal abuse, and-- Oh crap. "Y-you.. Your just walking away because you know you can't beat me!" his shout was loud, uncalled for, and was the last way to escape a certain kunoichi's wrath,"Yea, you heard me! Uzumaki Naruto is better than Uchiha Sasu--"

"I wouldn't count on it, Dobe" Sasuke whipped back around, and crossed his arms stubbornly over his chest.

Naruto grinned. The Uchiha had actually replied this time. His boasts were apperently too much for Sasuke to swallow gracefully. He had the raven haired boy wrapped around his finger now. The blond made an amused 'Hum' sound and clasped his hands behind the back of his head with a foxy expression on his face. "You wanna bet?"

"Winner gets all. For one week the loser has to play servant and do whatever the winner says." there was a hint of annoyance in Sasuke's voice as he skipped right to the stakes, his cool front chipping away steadily.

"Really?" Naruto countered, a sly grin on his face,"Better brush up on your ramen cooking skills, Sasuke. Your gonna need 'em when I suddenly feel a craving for a nice, hot bowl in the middle of the night."

Sasuke snorted, mouth drawn into a disgusted postion,"We'll see who wins in the end. Meet me here tonight, 8 o'clock sharp" The raven haired boy started to walk away as he said this,"We'll start our little contest then" His tone warned Naruto not to be late, and he was quickly putting distance between him and the other boy.

"Fine" Naruto shouted after him,"But one thing...what do I gotta do to win?" He felt a shiver run down his spine as the Uchiha paused, turning back dramatically and smirking in a way that sort of creeped him out. Sasuke's eyes were cut in mockery and he stated quietly, a hint of tease in his voice,"You gotta pick up a girl in a bar...Before I do"

Damn

* * *

A/n - Sorry I haven't updated in such a long time. School started and I got busy. Whelp, here's the brainchild of me scribbling crap down at ten at night, listining to hips don't lie, and drinking root beer. Btw, reviews are always Nice 


	2. Chapter 2

'_Bars, Boobs, and Boys_'

By : _QuotheIDani_

* * *

The two boys had met each other at about the same time, both arriving early in hopes of somehow disqualifying the other for being late, and went from there. The going was slow though, first both wanted to lead the way, though neither had a clue where to go, and then they had to wave through bar after bar full of men drinking sake 'till they puked. No woman, scratch that, no _human being_ would have willingly gone to any of those places to cut loose on a Friday night. By the time they found a suitable club the night had sunk in well, and the party was already in full swing, loud music pouring out from every nook and cranny of the building. 

"Ladies first" Naruto mocked, making a gentlemanly motion signaling Sasuke to go inside first.

"Dobe" The Uchiha cut in front of him, moving to hold the door open for a group of teenage girls he'd seen lingering in the shadows behind them earlier. From the looks of them, they were about the same age as him, and Naruto, and just as him and Naruto, they too looked like they were trying to sneak in as well. "Ladies" he said casually, but loud enough for the group to hear,"The door is this way, may I hold it for you?"

Four flustered faces suddenly appeared at the sound of his voice, like moths to a flame Naruto thought irritably. Each of the girls huddled together, walking in one big mass towards the door, blushing uncontrollably simply because of the fact they were being treated like princesses by Sasuke, whom, little did they know, was only acting like this to win a cheap dare. Had he seen them any other night around Konoha, he wouldn't have given him the time of day.

The girls were slowly oozing through the doorway, and as the last one passed him, Sasuke reached out to grab her wrist, and softly kissed the top of her hand. "Have a nice time. 'Kay?" he leaned closer to her,"And save at least one dance for me." The two's faces were very close, and the Uchiha heir gave the bashful girl a seductive smirk before releasing her wrist, finally letting them pass.

Naruto watched, simply burning with anger. That cheap ass! Catching girls at the door like that, and actually making them think he was interested! God. His form was flawless!

"And just where did you learn to do that!? Huh?"

Sasuke, already beginning to walk through the door himself, paused mid-step to glance back at the blonde. "What do you mean _this_?" He held his hand up to his mouth, reenacting what he'd just done. A cruel glint shinned in his eyes and he shrugged, as if to say it had been nothing,"It's just something I was born with, I guess" Then he disappeared into the dark of the club as well, Naruto still standing outside, looking like an idiot.

Inside the club Sasuke glanced around looking for potential girls he could use to win with. As expected, most of them were at least 20 years of age. He suspected most were students studding abroad in Fire Country. They could be difficult, if not impossible to win over, even for him. He smirked. Naruto didn't have a chance. Poor Dobe. His internal rejoices suddenly stopped as he heard a female voice half way across the dance floor nearly screech with disgust,"Uhgggg!" Sasuke whipped around to the sound, laughing at the sight he saw. Naruto stood in front of a very curvy, very pissed off, brunette. She had her hands firmly placed on her hips, and her feet were spread apart so that when she stuck her, please note: very large, chest out she held a powerful stance; And being that she was older, and that Naruto was short for his age anyway, the scene made for a very unusual and hilarious one.

"You little creep!" she shouted at the clueless idiot as he stood there with a dumbstruck look on his face, scratching the back of his head,"Ya tryin' ta pick me up? Hentai!"

A nervous smile was painted across his mouth, and his hands shook in front of him as he tried to calm her down,"Uhh…No I-I um I'm sorry, I thought you were younger, like my age—"

"Excuse me!?" Wrong choice of words.

'_SMACK_'

Naruto twitched several times as the girl walked off, still stunned that she'd actually slapped him. Hard. The two's eyes met and Sasuke shook his head at him, mouthing 'Dobe' to him before heading in an opposite direction.

The Uchiha immediately spotted a gorgeous red head alone at the bar, and he just as quickly spotted the empty seat beside her. With ease he worked through the crowd, sliding swiftly into the chair right as another guy looking to pick her up was beginning to sit down. He was older, sure, and taller, that was a given, but Sasuke didn't bat an eye at those differences. Being older or taller didn't give you an edge in battle, and he was well assured of his skills anyway. He was a ninja after all. The other male stared at him, surprised that he would make such a bold move, but the Uchiha simply gave him a cold smirk, telling him he should've moved faster. He wasn't giving his seat up now. He walked away sulking.

Sasuke turned his attention back to the girl. She wore a short denim mini skirt that only covered the essentials, and her green top was the same way. Her breasts were an advertisement in themselves, and the tall heels that adorned her feet completed her perfectly shaped legs. Sasuke could only smile. _It was on_.

Naruto watched from a distance, silently taking in the whole picture. Sasuke sure had picked a hot one. Could he really pull it off? The corners of his mouth tugged into a frown. Of course he could, he was Uchiha Sasuke.

"Damn it!" he cursed loudly, scratching his head in total frustration. How in hell was he going to pull this off?

He muttered random words to himself, and was lost in a world all his own when a hand clasped around his shoulder, spinning him about. A cute girl was right in front of him, her boobs directly in his line of sight, and popping out of her bra. Before he knew what was happening her body clashed against his as she jumped into his arms, and their lips pressed into a heated kiss.

'_W-what the hell?!?!_'

* * *

A/n - Oh my! Things are sure heating up aren't they? Wait till you see how these girl's flip the tables on our guys next chapter! Reviews would be nice! 


End file.
